I was 43 when I had my very first date.  Seriously.  I never really dated before. It was more, like, “Hi, I’m Dolores, nice to meet you, wanna live together now?” Then, 3 or 4 months later I am lying in bed next to someone thinking to myself, “How the hell did I get here?” I haven’t lived with THAT many people, but, I did always jump in and then regret it pretty quickly.

After a really unhealthy relationship ended several years ago, I decided I was going to stay single, and learn how to be happy on my own. Anytime, before, in my adult life, that I had been single, I always felt unhappy. So, it was very important to me that I took some time to figure out who I was, what makes me happy and how to love myself.

I didn’t know it was going to be three and a half years before I dated again. That was by choice too. Weird, but also, very cool.

At the end of that three and a half years, I had better self-esteem.  For the first time in my life, I felt good about myself, my life, my past, all of it.  I did a lot of self searching and hard work those years.  I had friends again, and hobbies. That is when I started to realize, “Yeah, it would be pretty cool to meet somebody again, I think I am ready”.

I always said I would never do on line dating. I was too shy and it sounded frightening. But, when I reached that point where I knew I was ready again, I went for it. I set up a couple of profiles. I was scared out of my mind. I thought, “What if no one responds?” I laugh at that now, because it is so easy for a woman on line.

What I discovered is dating is really fun! I enjoy it. I have met so many great men (a few creeps too), but, mostly, it has been a pretty positive experience for me.  It really made me comfortable around men again, it made me realize I can put myself out there with no expectations and still have fun. I discovered I like dating and if something is meant to happen, it will.  If not, well, I’m still having fun meeting people.

My first date.  I was 43.  We met at a coffee shop.  He wanted to go out to dinner, but I needed to meet some place low-key.  We talked for a couple of hours.  It was easier than I thought it was going to be.  He was really nice and easy to talk to.  One of the first things he said was, “Wow, it is nice to meet somebody who actually looks like their pictures!”  Funny.  I think about that experience now and how if it had gone the other way, I probably wouldn’t have gone on another date. Like ever.  Thankfully,  it was a good first date.  I do not remember his name anymore, I just remember it was a good experience and he was sweet.

I’m glad I tried on line dating.  I’m glad I did something that terrified me.  Dating has given me a lot more confidence in myself and showed me I can be open and vulnerable and it is ok.

On line dating has ALSO given me A LOT of great, funny, crazy, (and inappropriate) stories.  Which is pretty awesome too!

I’m not ready to date anyone right now.  I need to get over J first.   But, eventually, I will date again.  I’m still open.